It has been a year since I started liking Joe.
I can't believe it.
School started today. He isn't in my class, but whenever we see each other in the halls he looks at me and I try not to look at him but sometimes I do.
He always looks at me. If we're walking past each other. If I'm talking to my friends and he's talking to his and we're kind of near each other, he looks at me.
I think he likes me but I don't know for sure obviously.
He was texting Tessa today. She bragged. She was like "Hey Ash, Joe texted me! He said "Hi"." and I was like "Thats cool...?" and she was like "Did he text you?" and I said "No, remember he doesn't talk to me anymore." and she was like "Ohkay! Sorry!"
He was texting Julia today. She bragged. She was like "I'm texting Joe." and I was like "Cool...".
He is texting both my good friends. Of course. Probably to torture me. But he always texts Julia. Like he used to text me, but a little less. And he knew I was with Tessa so he texted her. </3
Goodnight. ):
--Ashley
Let your imagination run WILD even as your reading some of my blog posts. No matter where your imagination takes you, it'll be fine with me. (:
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Sunday, August 28, 2011
can't stand it.
For Joe, I wish we texted like we used to. I miss you so much.
For Nico, I wish it was me instead of her.
I don't know who I love out of you two. I wish I did. It's too complicated right now.
I can't stand the thought that Nico and Kate are dating. I can't stand the fact that Joe (he must be) is still mad at me.
I can't stand the fact that when Nico and me are walking next to each other (we're normally next to each other) he walks so close next to me that our arms are only like 2 inches apart from each other, or pressed up against one another's.
I can't stand the fact that Julia and Joe text each other everyday. I can't stand the fact that she is definitely taking my place.
That Joe forgets I love him.
That Nico doesn't know I love him.
I wish we could just work it out (Joe and I). But he makes it complicated and doesn't text me. He'll have to one time or another. In school. Even though I'll look my worst in those horrid outfits.
One day I know he'll forgive me.
... Just not today.
--Ashley
Tuesday, August 23, 2011
tonight was confusing.
The first thing is, I don't like that game anymore.
First I kissed Jordan. Then I tried to kiss Nico. But I couldn't do it. Or maybe he couldn't do it. I think it was him because Kate was there. We tried to kiss three times. First he got my bottom lip&my chin. Then he got just barely the side of my lips and I got the side of his nose. Then he got my chin&I got his nose.
I wasn't happy, and I still am not. Because I saw him&Kate kiss 3 times.
I wish Joe would come one of these nights and we can just KISS. And it would mean something. And we would go out. And I could forget about the fact that Nico&Kate kissed because I would've kissed the boy I truly love and be going out with him. HAHA That would NEVER happen.
I can but can't even think of the good times tonight... Oh yeah. When Nico wanted my phone for what I forget but he came over and jumped on me and I fell backwards so I was laying down and he got on top of me and stayed like that and kept trying to get my phone and we kind of stared at each other and I thought we were going to kiss but we didn't. </3
I really like Nico but now I know that he doesn't like me back.
</3
--Ashh
First I kissed Jordan. Then I tried to kiss Nico. But I couldn't do it. Or maybe he couldn't do it. I think it was him because Kate was there. We tried to kiss three times. First he got my bottom lip&my chin. Then he got just barely the side of my lips and I got the side of his nose. Then he got my chin&I got his nose.
I wasn't happy, and I still am not. Because I saw him&Kate kiss 3 times.
I wish Joe would come one of these nights and we can just KISS. And it would mean something. And we would go out. And I could forget about the fact that Nico&Kate kissed because I would've kissed the boy I truly love and be going out with him. HAHA That would NEVER happen.
I can but can't even think of the good times tonight... Oh yeah. When Nico wanted my phone for what I forget but he came over and jumped on me and I fell backwards so I was laying down and he got on top of me and stayed like that and kept trying to get my phone and we kind of stared at each other and I thought we were going to kiss but we didn't. </3
I really like Nico but now I know that he doesn't like me back.
</3
--Ashh
Monday, August 22, 2011
not tonight. just today.
We didn't hang out tonight. Just today.
This is another reason why I think Nico likes me.
Our texts:
A: i cant go.
N: Y?
A: because my dad is being stupid. i'm really mad.
N: Oh :( pooop
A: i know. ): can we hang out tomorrow??
And then I could go if I got a ride from someone but I couldn't so we didn't hang out.
He called me a couple minutes ago. He asked why I couldn't come tonight. And why we couldn't tomorrow.
Because Tessa has Dance practice from 1-3. Then he has soccer at 5:30. I have a hair cut at 5:30. After at 6:30 me&Tessa are going to Walmart to finish her school shopping.
He wanted to hang out so bad he was like "that'd be like, an hour right? you can hang out after then!" and I was like "we'll see Nico."
I think he likes me for real this time. I know I like him for real this time.
I forget who Joe even is. Even if Joe "likes" me.
He doesn't talk to me so!
I<3NICO.
HEMIGHT<3ME.
--Ashh
This is another reason why I think Nico likes me.
Our texts:
A: i cant go.
N: Y?
A: because my dad is being stupid. i'm really mad.
N: Oh :( pooop
A: i know. ): can we hang out tomorrow??
And then I could go if I got a ride from someone but I couldn't so we didn't hang out.
He called me a couple minutes ago. He asked why I couldn't come tonight. And why we couldn't tomorrow.
Because Tessa has Dance practice from 1-3. Then he has soccer at 5:30. I have a hair cut at 5:30. After at 6:30 me&Tessa are going to Walmart to finish her school shopping.
He wanted to hang out so bad he was like "that'd be like, an hour right? you can hang out after then!" and I was like "we'll see Nico."
I think he likes me for real this time. I know I like him for real this time.
I forget who Joe even is. Even if Joe "likes" me.
He doesn't talk to me so!
I<3NICO.
HEMIGHT<3ME.
--Ashh
those dreams when you kissed me... it finally became reality.
No, it wasn't as romantic or sweet as in the dreams.
No, it didn't happen like I thought it would.
Yes, I am definitely happy that we kissed.
Well, it was more like we bumped heads but he kissed my bottom lip and my chin and I kissed NEAR the side of his nose. Like his top lip&above.
So it was a real kiss. I was his first kiss. Not Helena. Yeah, they "kissed", but she kissed his nose and he missed her face. So not technically. Andy was my first kiss.
I think Nico likes me. Tessa thinks so, too.
He walked to my house and both of us alone walked down to Dunkin.
During Paranormal Activity, me&him were REALLY close together on the couch. Every time there was a scary-ish part he hid behind a pillow with his head on my shoulder.
Jordan even asked us if we were dating.
Last night he kissed me without playing the game.
I wanted another kiss from him today.
I wanted to say to him "You didn't have to kiss me." but I didn't.
I wish when we were walking with each other he just turned to me and kissed me.
I was temped to turn to him and kiss him.
Later we might hang out again. (:
I hope so. I won't get another kiss, I know that. Because his girlfriend will be there.
Joe almost came tonight, but he is in Maryland.
I had enough fun with Nico. We technically cuddled!
Psh no we didn't!
His mom gave me&Jordan a ride home.
Do you know how if you're in the backseat of a car, like behind the passenger seat how you can see (in the side mirror) the person in the passenger? &Vice versa?
Nico was in the passenger seat. I was right behind him.
I kept looking at him and he was looking at me.
I<3Nico.
I<?3 Joe.
--Ashh
No, it didn't happen like I thought it would.
Yes, I am definitely happy that we kissed.
Well, it was more like we bumped heads but he kissed my bottom lip and my chin and I kissed NEAR the side of his nose. Like his top lip&above.
So it was a real kiss. I was his first kiss. Not Helena. Yeah, they "kissed", but she kissed his nose and he missed her face. So not technically. Andy was my first kiss.
I think Nico likes me. Tessa thinks so, too.
He walked to my house and both of us alone walked down to Dunkin.
During Paranormal Activity, me&him were REALLY close together on the couch. Every time there was a scary-ish part he hid behind a pillow with his head on my shoulder.
Jordan even asked us if we were dating.
Last night he kissed me without playing the game.
I wanted another kiss from him today.
I wanted to say to him "You didn't have to kiss me." but I didn't.
I wish when we were walking with each other he just turned to me and kissed me.
I was temped to turn to him and kiss him.
Later we might hang out again. (:
I hope so. I won't get another kiss, I know that. Because his girlfriend will be there.
Joe almost came tonight, but he is in Maryland.
I had enough fun with Nico. We technically cuddled!
Psh no we didn't!
His mom gave me&Jordan a ride home.
Do you know how if you're in the backseat of a car, like behind the passenger seat how you can see (in the side mirror) the person in the passenger? &Vice versa?
Nico was in the passenger seat. I was right behind him.
I kept looking at him and he was looking at me.
I<3Nico.
I<?3 Joe.
--Ashh
Sunday, August 21, 2011
i can't even begin to describe how amazing tonight was.(:
First off, got my first kiss finally. Even though it was with someone who I didn't think would be my first kiss... Andrew S. He's cute. That's all I'm going to say. It was during Spin The Bottle but we were using Nico's phone.
And my second (I guess it was a kiss?) was with Nico. Tonight Nico was the one I thought would be my first kiss. Not Andy. But Tessa was like "Well Nico is being a chicken and won't kiss Ashley!" and he goes "I'll do it NOW!!" and turned really quickly and KISSED ME. He went so fast and he wasn't good at navigating either so we kind of bumped faces and he kissed my chin and I kissed right next to his nose. Counts enough for me!(:
But then we were walking over to the picnic table to get a drink and he put his arm around my shoulder and my hand was at my side and I went to put my arm around his shoulder but it went around his waist and we were walking together like that. I was happy. Me and him are friends again. Like, good friends. I figured that out when we were walking like that. Because when he put his arm around my shoulder he goes "You're my bestfriend!" and put his head on my shoulder for like 3 seconds. I laughed and said "You too!" and we smiled and looked at each other.
I didn't realize how much I missed him&our friendship.
When we were on the trampoline he goes "Ashley I think Joe likes you. I'm serious too. He always talks about you." and he was leaning on me&my leg. That was around everyone else too! I like him again. But I know I still like Joe more.
GOODNIGHT<33
--Ashh
And my second (I guess it was a kiss?) was with Nico. Tonight Nico was the one I thought would be my first kiss. Not Andy. But Tessa was like "Well Nico is being a chicken and won't kiss Ashley!" and he goes "I'll do it NOW!!" and turned really quickly and KISSED ME. He went so fast and he wasn't good at navigating either so we kind of bumped faces and he kissed my chin and I kissed right next to his nose. Counts enough for me!(:
But then we were walking over to the picnic table to get a drink and he put his arm around my shoulder and my hand was at my side and I went to put my arm around his shoulder but it went around his waist and we were walking together like that. I was happy. Me and him are friends again. Like, good friends. I figured that out when we were walking like that. Because when he put his arm around my shoulder he goes "You're my bestfriend!" and put his head on my shoulder for like 3 seconds. I laughed and said "You too!" and we smiled and looked at each other.
I didn't realize how much I missed him&our friendship.
When we were on the trampoline he goes "Ashley I think Joe likes you. I'm serious too. He always talks about you." and he was leaning on me&my leg. That was around everyone else too! I like him again. But I know I still like Joe more.
GOODNIGHT<33
--Ashh
DREAM # 2
We were at this weird place and it was me and Tessa and we were making this weird thing like an art project or something. When we were finished we walked away. Then we went with Emily Pav, Helena, Nicky, Nico, and Danny and we were in the same building (or another I dunno).. But wherever it was we sat in a circle (cross legged) and put our hands palms up on our knees I don't know why but we did that and I was next to Nico and Tessa and I forget what we were playing or doing but I had to put my hand over Nico's and Tessa's had to go over mine and then we didn't play that game or whatever it was anymore but my one hand stayed on my knee (the one next to Nico) and my other was in my lap holding my phone and we were talking (everyone) to each other and I don't know where Nico's hand was because obviously I wasn't stalking him&where his hand was... But anyway I didn't realize what he was doing with his hand the past like 10 minutes but he was inching it closer to mine and then once I felt his hand just barely touching mine and I looked down at our hands and he moved his hand closer to mine and we both moved our fingers up to hold hands but we both stopped and looked at each other and just stared at each other and he continued moving his fingers and then I did too (because he did) and then we laced fingers. Everyone was looking at us and I forgot that anyone was even there... Then he leaned in so I leaned and then we kissed and then before I could hear anything that everyone would say I just looked at them and they were like *:O* and then I woke up.
DREAM # 1
First of all, Nico and Kate are dating. Second, I like Nico. Third, I’m pretty sure in real life he forgets I exist sometimes. Who was in the dream? Me, Nico, Kate, and Joe were. The whole time we were hanging out, Nico was all over Kate so me and Joe were talking most of the time. I kind of didn’t notice the thousand times he kept smiling my way to see if I would see but when I didn’t the smile would just slowly vanish from his face because he saw me and Joe like that… But hey, that’s sometimes what I would do, so… When we in those little pairs, we were walking somewhere. When we got back to Nico’s house (that’s where we were hanging out), we were all on the couch. Then we all talked to each other. The order on the couch WASN’T 1.Nico 2.Kate 3.Me 4.Joe, it was 1.Kate 2.Nico 3.Me 4.Joe. So I was surrounded by boys… We didn’t watch a movie we kinda just sat there and talked for a while. After about 45 minutes, that’s when something very different happened. We were all talking and smiling and laughing, when Nico leaned over to whisper something into Kate’s ear. The smile quickly vanished from my face because he could’ve been saying anything to her... I just didn’t expect it to be what it was. Joe, Kate, and I sat there in silence until something else happened, when Kate stopped smiling. She kind of just looked at him and said “Oh, okay…” Then he leaned into me… But he didn’t lean into my ear. He leaned into my face… I kinda just sat there staring into his eyes and then he closed them and kissed me. I was startled but I kissed him back. After that, I looked at his expression which was just ‘I’m going to stare at you until you react’ so I looked at Kate’s because she was behind him, and she was gaping. I turned around to see Joe’s and he was gaping also, but then he closed his mouth and frowned. Then I said to him, “I thought you were dating Kate.” “That’s what I whispered into her ear, “I’m breaking up with you. I’m sorry,” he said to me followed by a smile. I just smiled back.
DREAM: NIGHT OF JUNE 26, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
mhkayy.
Joe didn't come yesterday. :P
Today I was with Maddie M, Mackenzie,&Tessa. Maddie had to leave at like 6 and Tessa&Mackenzie stayed. We attempted at making crazy videos. Even though they were crazy, didn't work out.
I just realized what today's date is. August 18th. THE 18TH. Nico was in Florida from the 10th to the 17th.... Me&him need to hang out soon.
And maybe possibly me&Joe??
I wissh..
Probably won't happen. The only way it happened last time was Joe said to Tessa in a text "wanna chill today" and then he told her to invite a bunch of other people. She invited me. PRETTY MUCH IT. Well we also invited Tommy. And Joe invited Mark&Shawn...
BUT ANYWAY.... TOMMY&TESSA BROKE UP... Well Tessa broke up with him today. Not saying why though. Just don't feel like it.
(Not very) Surprisingly, I miss Joe more than I miss Nico... haha I haven't seen Nico in like, 2 weeks or so and I saw Joe 2 days ago... Thatzafail.
... I dunno what else to say... :P
IMISSJOE.
<3
--Ashh
Today I was with Maddie M, Mackenzie,&Tessa. Maddie had to leave at like 6 and Tessa&Mackenzie stayed. We attempted at making crazy videos. Even though they were crazy, didn't work out.
I just realized what today's date is. August 18th. THE 18TH. Nico was in Florida from the 10th to the 17th.... Me&him need to hang out soon.
And maybe possibly me&Joe??
I wissh..
Probably won't happen. The only way it happened last time was Joe said to Tessa in a text "wanna chill today" and then he told her to invite a bunch of other people. She invited me. PRETTY MUCH IT. Well we also invited Tommy. And Joe invited Mark&Shawn...
BUT ANYWAY.... TOMMY&TESSA BROKE UP... Well Tessa broke up with him today. Not saying why though. Just don't feel like it.
(Not very) Surprisingly, I miss Joe more than I miss Nico... haha I haven't seen Nico in like, 2 weeks or so and I saw Joe 2 days ago... Thatzafail.
... I dunno what else to say... :P
IMISSJOE.
<3
--Ashh
Tuesday, August 16, 2011
today was fun(:
Today I was with Tessa, Mackenzie, Maddie M, Helena. It was a lot of fun.(:
That's really it. Sorry!
But tomorrow, me&Julia S are going to chill. Joe might come. If he can he will.
<3
I'll let you know how that goes.(:
--Ashh
That's really it. Sorry!
But tomorrow, me&Julia S are going to chill. Joe might come. If he can he will.
<3
I'll let you know how that goes.(:
--Ashh
Monday, August 15, 2011
today was also GREAT(:
Today, I was with Tessa, Julia, Shawn, Mark D, Tommy C, &Joe.(:
We met Joe at the school, then picked up Tommy (when we walked by his house) and met Mark&Shawn at the park.
Joe: Tessa come here.
Tessa: Me?
J: No, the other Tessa.
T: Oh, me!
J: Yeah, you.
J: Now what?
T: What?!
J: What what?!
T: What did you want to tell me?
J: No what did YOU want to tell me?
T: When?
J: Before...
T: Ooohhh, nothing.
J: Tessa.
T: Joe.
J: Just tell me.
T: Ashley, say yes.
A: To what?
T: JUST SAY YES!!!
A: Yes?
T: Why don't you just ask her out?!
J: Why should I ask her out?
T: Because you like her, and she likes you!!!!
And then Tommy came over so the conversation was over.
I didn't get another hug, but whatever.(:
Oh yeah, he still has the note. I'm almost surprised.(:
<333
--Ashley
We met Joe at the school, then picked up Tommy (when we walked by his house) and met Mark&Shawn at the park.
Joe: Tessa come here.
Tessa: Me?
J: No, the other Tessa.
T: Oh, me!
J: Yeah, you.
J: Now what?
T: What?!
J: What what?!
T: What did you want to tell me?
J: No what did YOU want to tell me?
T: When?
J: Before...
T: Ooohhh, nothing.
J: Tessa.
T: Joe.
J: Just tell me.
T: Ashley, say yes.
A: To what?
T: JUST SAY YES!!!
A: Yes?
T: Why don't you just ask her out?!
J: Why should I ask her out?
T: Because you like her, and she likes you!!!!
And then Tommy came over so the conversation was over.
I didn't get another hug, but whatever.(:
Oh yeah, he still has the note. I'm almost surprised.(:
<333
--Ashley
we texted again today.
A: um, i need you to tell me the truth.
J: Ye
A: are we (seriously) friends. or (again), no.
This is the most he's said in a text explaining something like this since I met him.
J: I mean I guess I'm frnds wen me and a girl get into a like fight I don't really care
A: but i thought you were the one mad at me..
J: I was but I wasn't like o me and u rnt frnds
A: i can see that. and i hope you realize i'm still sorry.
J: Y
A: because i was stupid.
J: Y
A: at the plaza. i was stupid to run away. last night, i was nervous, but i realized running away got me nowhere, so i didnt.
J: Koop
A: koop. *confused look*
J: Haha kool
A: oh. haha okay.
A: but-um, another quick question.
J: Ya
A: um, where did you put the note....
J: I hav it
A: yeah, where..
J: I hav it y
A: im jw.
That's all.
I hope we start texting like we used to.
The last night of St. Rocco's was amazing.
We hugged, and this time, he wanted to give me a hug. Well, at least he knew I wanted another hug. (:
At least this time, I hugged him in front of all our friends... under the fireworks..<3
I didn't run.
I gave him the note.
He knows most things now.
He wanted to talk to me.
We talked.
We hugged.
We texted.
The only thing I almost wish I did, was say "I love you, Joe."
Because I do. I wish you would know that.
I miss you, and I hope one day it can just be me and you hanging out. <3
<333
--Ashley
J: Ye
A: are we (seriously) friends. or (again), no.
This is the most he's said in a text explaining something like this since I met him.
J: I mean I guess I'm frnds wen me and a girl get into a like fight I don't really care
A: but i thought you were the one mad at me..
J: I was but I wasn't like o me and u rnt frnds
A: i can see that. and i hope you realize i'm still sorry.
J: Y
A: because i was stupid.
J: Y
A: at the plaza. i was stupid to run away. last night, i was nervous, but i realized running away got me nowhere, so i didnt.
J: Koop
A: koop. *confused look*
J: Haha kool
A: oh. haha okay.
A: but-um, another quick question.
J: Ya
A: um, where did you put the note....
J: I hav it
A: yeah, where..
J: I hav it y
A: im jw.
That's all.
I hope we start texting like we used to.
The last night of St. Rocco's was amazing.
We hugged, and this time, he wanted to give me a hug. Well, at least he knew I wanted another hug. (:
At least this time, I hugged him in front of all our friends... under the fireworks..<3
I didn't run.
I gave him the note.
He knows most things now.
He wanted to talk to me.
We talked.
We hugged.
We texted.
The only thing I almost wish I did, was say "I love you, Joe."
Because I do. I wish you would know that.
I miss you, and I hope one day it can just be me and you hanging out. <3
<333
--Ashley
Sunday, August 14, 2011
last night at st. rocco's, amazing.
*Sighs* (:
Well, Friday night I wrote Joe a letter planning to give it to him yesterday, but he didn't go to St. Rocco's. So my new-found cousin Julia gave it to him. He read it away from his friends, thank god. This is what our conversation was after because he said he wanted to talk to me.
J: Hey Ashley
A: Hi
*both look at fireworks"
A: So you read the note i take it?
J: Yeah. You really wrote it at midnight?
A: Yeah. Haha
J: So do you want a hug?
A: Haha sure
*hugs*
This was our texts from after. He was yelling "YO YO YO! WE'RE ALL FRIENDS HERE!"
J: Were all frnds
A: Really. Seriously.
J: Wo wo were all frnds
A: are we?
J: are we
A: i dunno. you're the one who was mad at me...
he didnt text back.
A:*whispers* this is what i mean...
J: sorry
A: its okay. you're with your friends so... text me after i guess.
GOODNIGHT<3
--Ashley
Well, Friday night I wrote Joe a letter planning to give it to him yesterday, but he didn't go to St. Rocco's. So my new-found cousin Julia gave it to him. He read it away from his friends, thank god. This is what our conversation was after because he said he wanted to talk to me.
J: Hey Ashley
A: Hi
*both look at fireworks"
A: So you read the note i take it?
J: Yeah. You really wrote it at midnight?
A: Yeah. Haha
J: So do you want a hug?
A: Haha sure
*hugs*
This was our texts from after. He was yelling "YO YO YO! WE'RE ALL FRIENDS HERE!"
J: Were all frnds
A: Really. Seriously.
J: Wo wo were all frnds
A: are we?
J: are we
A: i dunno. you're the one who was mad at me...
he didnt text back.
A:*whispers* this is what i mean...
J: sorry
A: its okay. you're with your friends so... text me after i guess.
GOODNIGHT<3
--Ashley
Saturday, August 13, 2011
tonight was... um....
Tonight wasn't the best. It rained almost the whole time, and Joe didn't show. I was supposed to give him a note. But I couldn't. Because he wasn't there. *blinks randomly*
I really LOVE Joe and I don't care who knows... Psh yeah right.
The best part was after the festival when we went to Friendly's. It was Tessa, Nick M, Jordan, Kathleen, Marissa, Shawn, Mackenzie, Rachel, and Me.
Hilarious.
But it would've been better if Joe came. I miss him so much</3
--Ashley
I really LOVE Joe and I don't care who knows... Psh yeah right.
The best part was after the festival when we went to Friendly's. It was Tessa, Nick M, Jordan, Kathleen, Marissa, Shawn, Mackenzie, Rachel, and Me.
Hilarious.
But it would've been better if Joe came. I miss him so much</3
--Ashley
Friday, August 12, 2011
first night of st. rocco's.
And it went well.... I think. *laughs*
First off, I went shopping just before that, and got two pretty shirts&a romper.
Tonight I wore the romper, and it looked amazing!
That was a VERRY good thing, because Joe was there.
I can't believe one thing.(:
(No. He didn't ask me out. Um, wow. It's not even about him!)
I never EVER mentioned Quinton before. October 2009, Plane ride to&from Disney. I really liked him then. He's OK looking now. He didn't change that much.
But anyway, I SAW HIM AGAIN! I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE HIM. :O
But good(ish) thing is Joe was jealous... I think... Me and all my friends were by Joe and his friends (because we were talking to Nick M and he was with Joe) and I was talking to Nick and Joe kept looking at me and Amber said that when she said "Lets go ask Ashley if she wants to hang out with Quinton!" because I ran away with Maddy to tell her something and Amber said that he made a face like "Really? HIM?!" like he was jealous.
But if he wanted to hang out with me and if he was jealous for real, then why didn't he? I feel like he's just doing to me what I did to him at the Plaza. Avoiding me. )':
Kill me now.</3
--Ashley
First off, I went shopping just before that, and got two pretty shirts&a romper.
Tonight I wore the romper, and it looked amazing!
That was a VERRY good thing, because Joe was there.
I can't believe one thing.(:
(No. He didn't ask me out. Um, wow. It's not even about him!)
I never EVER mentioned Quinton before. October 2009, Plane ride to&from Disney. I really liked him then. He's OK looking now. He didn't change that much.
But anyway, I SAW HIM AGAIN! I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE HIM. :O
But good(ish) thing is Joe was jealous... I think... Me and all my friends were by Joe and his friends (because we were talking to Nick M and he was with Joe) and I was talking to Nick and Joe kept looking at me and Amber said that when she said "Lets go ask Ashley if she wants to hang out with Quinton!" because I ran away with Maddy to tell her something and Amber said that he made a face like "Really? HIM?!" like he was jealous.
But if he wanted to hang out with me and if he was jealous for real, then why didn't he? I feel like he's just doing to me what I did to him at the Plaza. Avoiding me. )':
Kill me now.</3
--Ashley
Thursday, August 11, 2011
I'm going to keep this simple...
Dear Joe,
I hope you know how much I miss you.
I hope you know just in general that I miss you.
</3
--Ashley
I hope you know how much I miss you.
I hope you know just in general that I miss you.
</3
--Ashley
american idol winner!
This season's American Idol winner, Scotty McCreery, has an AMAZING song! "I Love You This Big". And I love the song!<3
--Ashley
--Ashley
another song...
Should've Kissed You-Chris Brown.
I had the chance and I almost blew it. But I did it.
Hugging that is. Joe.
I wish you would know, Joe.</3
--Ashley
I had the chance and I almost blew it. But I did it.
Hugging that is. Joe.
I wish you would know, Joe.</3
--Ashley
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
haha(:
Did you ever go somewhere like the mall or something and see couples holding hands and all and wish that you had someone like that? Haha random..
didn't come. pooo.
Joe didn't come tonight.
Tessa pointed out that every time I mention hanging out, he doesn't text me back. Showing he doesn't like me.. still...</3
He doesn't know what's going on with me.
He doesn't know what I'm thinking.
He doesn't know how much I want him to come.
He doesn't know how much I miss him.
He doesn't know how much I love him.
He doesn't know anything about me anymore.
</3
--Ashley
Tessa pointed out that every time I mention hanging out, he doesn't text me back. Showing he doesn't like me.. still...</3
He doesn't know what's going on with me.
He doesn't know what I'm thinking.
He doesn't know how much I want him to come.
He doesn't know how much I miss him.
He doesn't know how much I love him.
He doesn't know anything about me anymore.
</3
--Ashley
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
so close. still am.
To hanging out, that is. With Joe, yeah. Um, yesterday he almost came and they would've made me sit by him because Tessa was by Tommy (they're dating though) and Julia sat by Zach (dating) so yeah. And it was a scary movie.(:
But he really almost came. He was so close to coming. Same with Nico. But now Nico is in Florida. Until the 17th.
Anyway, he might come tomorrow night. We're going to try to play ManHunt. He's always been dying to play... specifically with me. Because whenever we played "If you had to would you..." and so many of them were about ManHunt.
1. If we were playing ManHunt and I fell would you...
Laugh
Help me up
Let me lay there and get up myself
I picked Laugh&Help you up.
2. If we were playing ManHunt and I fell and you fell on top of me would you...
Laugh
Help me up
Kiss me
I said "older&dating?" he said doesn't matter. So I picked Laugh, then kiss you, then help you up.
That was obviously a WHILE ago.
I miss that</3
I miss him</3
I love him</3
Joe, I love you so much.<3
I wish you would know...
--Ashley
But he really almost came. He was so close to coming. Same with Nico. But now Nico is in Florida. Until the 17th.
Anyway, he might come tomorrow night. We're going to try to play ManHunt. He's always been dying to play... specifically with me. Because whenever we played "If you had to would you..." and so many of them were about ManHunt.
1. If we were playing ManHunt and I fell would you...
Laugh
Help me up
Let me lay there and get up myself
I picked Laugh&Help you up.
2. If we were playing ManHunt and I fell and you fell on top of me would you...
Laugh
Help me up
Kiss me
I said "older&dating?" he said doesn't matter. So I picked Laugh, then kiss you, then help you up.
That was obviously a WHILE ago.
I miss that</3
I miss him</3
I love him</3
Joe, I love you so much.<3
I wish you would know...
--Ashley
Sunday, August 7, 2011
I guess I do love him...
I was listening to the song "A Thousand Miles" by Vanessa Carlton and I decided to put my status "You know I'd walk a thousand miles just to see you" and when I was spelling "just" I typed "Joe" on accident...<3
--Ashley
--Ashley
Saturday, August 6, 2011
I just realized something...
I was thinking... I really like Nico, but I love Joe.
No.
I don't love anyone.
Not even him. I just really like him. A lot.
My sister doesn't even love her boyfriend and they've been dating for over a year.
Joe made me think I loved him. Nico, I think I did love him. Last year, though.
How did Joe make me think I loved him? One day he asked me how much I like him, and I said "a lot." and he said "Do you love me?" and I said "I don't think so." And he said "You know you love me :)" So I said "I guess so." And ever since then, I thought I loved him.
He says he isn't mad at me, yet he doesn't text me. Ever. I texted him today "Hi" and he said "Hi" and I said "whats up" and he never answered. So he doesn't like me. Why should I like him at all?
I shouldn't. I wish I didn't, but then again, I've liked him for almost a year now, and he only knew for a little while.
I remember every day from June 1st to today. Every conversation. Him calling me cute, then pretty, then saying he'd date me, then saying he did like me, then denying that he liked me, to this. To nothing. To me getting to the point that I really seriously miss him. That I'm about to cry. That he doesn't know anything.
I wish I could send him something. Saying everything that he doesn't know. Or at least what he didn't understand in the past.
I'll make it up right now. Here it is:
Hi. I know you know most of this already.. but what I really wanted to say, is that it's come to the point that I really do miss you. I almost doubt liking you anymore. I bet you're happy about that. I barely know what to say. I feel like I already said it all. But I haven't. You don't even know half of it. I don't go one day without thinking about you, wishing you talked to me still, wishing you knew all this&more. I know very well that you don't like me, and I guess I understand. Well, I respect it. I know that. At the plaza, I don't know what happened to me. I guess it was because I hadn't seen you in over a month and I thought I really did love you. But I realized I don't. My sister really convinced me by telling me she didn't even love her boyfriend and they've been going out for over a year. I do but don't know what to say to you. I thought I loved you because those songs and quotes started to make me think of you. I bet you hate this. Me talking to you like this. It makes me wonder what you think of me by now. You probably do but don't want to know what I think of you. I have no clue. I wish I knew what you thought about me since the first week of school until now. And forever into the future. My question is why are only girls like this? Why do we... why do I have this much to say? All the time. And you have NOTHING to ever say really. I remember us playing that game that I loved to play but could never think of anything for and you were amazing at it. I miss that. I miss you. I wish I could see you. If you heard some things I say about you, or if you ever saw what I write not just about you but exactly what I think about you, you would be mesmerized. Or at least just say "Wow." I really wish it didn't get to the point that I had to write this&everything else I have written. I always imagine that in just some random place I would see you and I'd imagine what would happen.. You normally end up ignoring me. Why do I imagine that? Because it's what would happen. Just the other day, I asked my sister "Should I text Joe?" because yes, she knows about you.. and she said "Do whatever you want, Kiddo." so I did. I wish you knew some of those songs and quotes that mean things. It would change some things... Sorry you had to read this..
That's what I would say. And yeah, I just typed that all now. I love him. But that wouldn't fit in my text thing. It would take 10+ messages. Literally..
I wonder if I love Joe, and I really like Nico.<3
--Ashley
No.
I don't love anyone.
Not even him. I just really like him. A lot.
My sister doesn't even love her boyfriend and they've been dating for over a year.
Joe made me think I loved him. Nico, I think I did love him. Last year, though.
How did Joe make me think I loved him? One day he asked me how much I like him, and I said "a lot." and he said "Do you love me?" and I said "I don't think so." And he said "You know you love me :)" So I said "I guess so." And ever since then, I thought I loved him.
He says he isn't mad at me, yet he doesn't text me. Ever. I texted him today "Hi" and he said "Hi" and I said "whats up" and he never answered. So he doesn't like me. Why should I like him at all?
I shouldn't. I wish I didn't, but then again, I've liked him for almost a year now, and he only knew for a little while.
I remember every day from June 1st to today. Every conversation. Him calling me cute, then pretty, then saying he'd date me, then saying he did like me, then denying that he liked me, to this. To nothing. To me getting to the point that I really seriously miss him. That I'm about to cry. That he doesn't know anything.
I wish I could send him something. Saying everything that he doesn't know. Or at least what he didn't understand in the past.
I'll make it up right now. Here it is:
Hi. I know you know most of this already.. but what I really wanted to say, is that it's come to the point that I really do miss you. I almost doubt liking you anymore. I bet you're happy about that. I barely know what to say. I feel like I already said it all. But I haven't. You don't even know half of it. I don't go one day without thinking about you, wishing you talked to me still, wishing you knew all this&more. I know very well that you don't like me, and I guess I understand. Well, I respect it. I know that. At the plaza, I don't know what happened to me. I guess it was because I hadn't seen you in over a month and I thought I really did love you. But I realized I don't. My sister really convinced me by telling me she didn't even love her boyfriend and they've been going out for over a year. I do but don't know what to say to you. I thought I loved you because those songs and quotes started to make me think of you. I bet you hate this. Me talking to you like this. It makes me wonder what you think of me by now. You probably do but don't want to know what I think of you. I have no clue. I wish I knew what you thought about me since the first week of school until now. And forever into the future. My question is why are only girls like this? Why do we... why do I have this much to say? All the time. And you have NOTHING to ever say really. I remember us playing that game that I loved to play but could never think of anything for and you were amazing at it. I miss that. I miss you. I wish I could see you. If you heard some things I say about you, or if you ever saw what I write not just about you but exactly what I think about you, you would be mesmerized. Or at least just say "Wow." I really wish it didn't get to the point that I had to write this&everything else I have written. I always imagine that in just some random place I would see you and I'd imagine what would happen.. You normally end up ignoring me. Why do I imagine that? Because it's what would happen. Just the other day, I asked my sister "Should I text Joe?" because yes, she knows about you.. and she said "Do whatever you want, Kiddo." so I did. I wish you knew some of those songs and quotes that mean things. It would change some things... Sorry you had to read this..
That's what I would say. And yeah, I just typed that all now. I love him. But that wouldn't fit in my text thing. It would take 10+ messages. Literally..
I wonder if I love Joe, and I really like Nico.<3
--Ashley
Thursday, August 4, 2011
if you'd just realize what i just realized...
Yeah, that's a line from a song, Realize by Colbie Caillat.
And it just clicked in my mind. Here's the lyrics:
Lyrics to Realize :
And if you listen/read them carefully, you will get where I'm going.
The whole chorus. "If you'd just realize what I just realized then we'd be perfect for each other and we'd never find another."
So, uhh, Nico? If you'd just realize what I just realized then we'd be perfect for each other and we'd never find another... I love you.
It always happens. I think I love the one more than the other, but that's really just because I'm growing farther from the other that I think I love the least. For example, I think I love Nico more than Joe, but while this is happening, Joe and I are growing apart, and me and Nico are growing together. I have a feeling I love them both equally.. I just can't get to accept that fact.
I love you, Joe.
And I love you, Nico.
<33333333333333333333333333
<33333333333333333333333333
But Nico.. I loved you first.<3
--Ashley
And it just clicked in my mind. Here's the lyrics:
Lyrics to Realize :
V1: Take time to realize,
That your warmth is
Crashing down on in.
Take time to realize,
That I am on your side
Didn't I, Didn't I tell you.
But I can't spell it out for you,
No it's never gonna be that simple
No I cant spell it out for you
C: If you just realize what I just realized,
Then we'd be perfect for each other
and will never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder if
we missed out on each other now.
V2: Take time to realize
Oh-oh I'm on your side
didn't I, didn't I tell you.
Take time to realize
This all can pass you by
Didn't I tell you
But I can't spell it out for you,
no it's never gonna be that simple
no I can't spell it out for you.
C: If you just realized what I just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other
then we'd never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder if
we missed out on each other now.
V3: It's not always the same
no it's never the same
if you don't feel it too.
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way.
It could be the same for you.
C: If you just realize what I just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other
then we'd never find another
Just realize what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder
Just realize what I just realized
If you just realize what I just realized
OoOoOOo
missed out on each other now
missed out on each other now
Realize, realize
realize, realize
That your warmth is
Crashing down on in.
Take time to realize,
That I am on your side
Didn't I, Didn't I tell you.
But I can't spell it out for you,
No it's never gonna be that simple
No I cant spell it out for you
C: If you just realize what I just realized,
Then we'd be perfect for each other
and will never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder if
we missed out on each other now.
V2: Take time to realize
Oh-oh I'm on your side
didn't I, didn't I tell you.
Take time to realize
This all can pass you by
Didn't I tell you
But I can't spell it out for you,
no it's never gonna be that simple
no I can't spell it out for you.
C: If you just realized what I just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other
then we'd never find another
Just realized what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder if
we missed out on each other now.
V3: It's not always the same
no it's never the same
if you don't feel it too.
If you meet me half way
If you would meet me half way.
It could be the same for you.
C: If you just realize what I just realized
then we'd be perfect for each other
then we'd never find another
Just realize what I just realized
we'd never have to wonder
Just realize what I just realized
If you just realize what I just realized
OoOoOOo
missed out on each other now
missed out on each other now
Realize, realize
realize, realize
And if you listen/read them carefully, you will get where I'm going.
The whole chorus. "If you'd just realize what I just realized then we'd be perfect for each other and we'd never find another."
So, uhh, Nico? If you'd just realize what I just realized then we'd be perfect for each other and we'd never find another... I love you.
It always happens. I think I love the one more than the other, but that's really just because I'm growing farther from the other that I think I love the least. For example, I think I love Nico more than Joe, but while this is happening, Joe and I are growing apart, and me and Nico are growing together. I have a feeling I love them both equally.. I just can't get to accept that fact.
I love you, Joe.
And I love you, Nico.
<33333333333333333333333333
<33333333333333333333333333
But Nico.. I loved you first.<3
--Ashley
Wednesday, August 3, 2011
best seven minutes of my life..
About ten minutes ago, I saw him.
But not the him you're thinking about. No, not Joe.
I saw Nico. He met me at Sherwood so I could give him something.
We started to make plans for tomorrow, but I was going to Knobels&he kept thinking he had something to do tomorrow. So I said either Sunday or some other day next week. I just hope it happens. And also it could be these people:
Nico, Kate, Tommy, Tessa Joe&me. I would appreciate that.(:
I <3 Joe&Nico
--Ashley(:
But not the him you're thinking about. No, not Joe.
I saw Nico. He met me at Sherwood so I could give him something.
We started to make plans for tomorrow, but I was going to Knobels&he kept thinking he had something to do tomorrow. So I said either Sunday or some other day next week. I just hope it happens. And also it could be these people:
Nico, Kate, Tommy, Tessa Joe&me. I would appreciate that.(:
I <3 Joe&Nico
--Ashley(:
Monday, August 1, 2011
can you believe it?!
Joe&I sorta made up, and he isn't mad at me anymore (he kinda was he said).
And now I have no clue if I still love him like I used to. Last night was the last night I was going to be able to see him without planning it. I saw him four nights in a row because of the St. Joe's festival this weekend. That made me happy.
But like I was saying, I have no clue if I still love him like I used to.. After the festival, these people went to Tessa's house to hang out: Amber, Mackenzie, Julia, Tessa, Kyle, Kayla, Rachel, Nico, and me. Joe almost came. But we played truth or dare sitting in a circle on the side of the road (but not on the sidewalk..), and when it came to my turn, I picked dare like a retard.. My first one was I had to kiss Kyle on the cheek. (I said no.) Then I had to kiss him on the lips. (said no.) Then I had to kiss Nico on the cheek. (glared at them all and said "He has a girl friend." or at least that was my excuse..) Then I had to kiss him on the lips. (said NO.) I told Amber after (I texted her) that I would've kissed Nico. And she said "I know" and I said "Next time if we are all together playing truth or dare, and I got that dare, I would kiss him. She said "Ok I'll tell you to do that then." I think I like Nico again, but he really does LOVE Kate.
I really did LOVE him...
And do really LOVE Joe..
</3
--Ashley
And now I have no clue if I still love him like I used to. Last night was the last night I was going to be able to see him without planning it. I saw him four nights in a row because of the St. Joe's festival this weekend. That made me happy.
But like I was saying, I have no clue if I still love him like I used to.. After the festival, these people went to Tessa's house to hang out: Amber, Mackenzie, Julia, Tessa, Kyle, Kayla, Rachel, Nico, and me. Joe almost came. But we played truth or dare sitting in a circle on the side of the road (but not on the sidewalk..), and when it came to my turn, I picked dare like a retard.. My first one was I had to kiss Kyle on the cheek. (I said no.) Then I had to kiss him on the lips. (said no.) Then I had to kiss Nico on the cheek. (glared at them all and said "He has a girl friend." or at least that was my excuse..) Then I had to kiss him on the lips. (said NO.) I told Amber after (I texted her) that I would've kissed Nico. And she said "I know" and I said "Next time if we are all together playing truth or dare, and I got that dare, I would kiss him. She said "Ok I'll tell you to do that then." I think I like Nico again, but he really does LOVE Kate.
I really did LOVE him...
And do really LOVE Joe..
</3
--Ashley
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