last night was almost the worst.

Yesterday, Helena Nicky and I went to The Plaza.  I was texting Joe and he said "Whats up" and I said "Going to The Plaza... but you can't go there. :/" and he was like "Maybe I can" and he ended up being able to go. He was with Nicky the whole time and I wanted to hug him and they all told him to hug me so I would be happy but I knew the hug was forced upon and I was said about that. This is what I said to him yesterday night: 


"I'm really sorry no matter what you say. I wish I never did anything that I did that was wrong. The best thing was when we hugged. And I know it was pretty much forced upon. I really like you. If we ever hang out again I swear I won't run no matter who or where. I'm so sorry. I really like you."


And today I'm going to say to him:

"When I was running away from you, I was scared&nervous. I just really like you and you're the only thing on my mind right now. And what else is on mind is everything I did wrong last night. When they got you alone I wasn't as scared (even though I knew they were watching from two different directions) because you made me feel better there. When you kept asking "Why are you so scared/nervous?" I didn't tell you because I didn't know why I was. When we hugged, it felt like something rushed through me (may have just been me though)... something warm&... loving? I dunno. You just made me feel much better. But when you yelled "ARE YOU EFFING HAPPY NOW!?" and walked away, I walked away too then cried. If we ever have the "Make Up Day", no matter where or who, I'll stay with you every second if you want. I'll hug you right when you get with me/us. I'll hug you so much I dunno what'll happen. If you had texted me already before this today, then I wouldn't have written this. I didn't think it was this long either... Sorry again."


He's gonna be like "Whoa..." haha.


I love him so much.


--Ashley<3

is it wrong that i cry about joe sometimes?

-ashley

I can't believe I'm this close!

Last night, Joe said, "Ashley what if I asked you out I'm not saying I am but what would you do?" I said "I would say yes then happy cry. I would never forget that moment for as long as I live. I would love that." and he was like "Haha okay."


I CAN'T BELIEVE I'M THIS CLOSE! I love Joe so much I would never want to let him go if I went out with him.


-Ashley ;D

You're not home yet...

Joe, you don't know you're not home. Your home is my heart. You don't know that though. I'm crazy for you. I wish you would know how much I really love you. Not just me telling you "I love you a LOT" which I do, but I want you to feel how much I love you. Just by hugging, holding hands, maybe kissing? I don't care. I love you so much. If I tried to say it, it wouldn't fit here. It’s not even funny how much I love you... You don’t even know half of how much I love you. You’re amazing. I wish I could hang out with you every day, be with you every day.  I love you Joe. I can’t stop saying it. I wish you would just ask me out. I can’t wait a few months. I love you so much I’m saying you’re name in this message.

I love you Joe.<3

I miss you, you know.

We just had to hang out didn't we! I was so happy. Don't get me wrong!

I hung out with my best friend Helena and a couple of boys. One of them being Nico. Yes, he is still dating Kate.









Truth is, I still like him deep down. 

Just like the saying "Loved you once, love you still. Always have, always will."


That is always true with him and me. Omigod it was so amazing. I'll tell it all! :D






I had to do a lot of running tonight. The boys all had bikes and me and Helena didn't so we had to ride on their pegs. Helena took a bike, one of the boys on the others pegs, me on Nico's pegs. I kept doing "suicidal jumps" as Nico called them, which were me jumping off the back because I was scared. I got terrible tire burn from that. I was standing on the pegs of his bike right behind him. Holding on to his shoulders. It was so great!
Then my phone rang because I got a text when we were on the trampoline but he was on the swing so he said "I'LL GET IT!!!!" and took my phone and I jumped out of the trampoline and chased him. He had socks on, I didn't. He tried to climb up the plastic slide, and I was already running towards it. He slipped and turned around on his back instead of his stomach and I just realized it a little too late and I tried to stop but I slid in the grass and fell on top of him. Then I got my phone back(:
He still wants to see my phone all the time. His phone crapped out so he might get the one I have.(:
























I love him.<33







--Ashley(:

Yes. I know what I said. But I've changed my mind...?

Hey guys. Right now I'm with my friend so I'll make this quick.

One random thing, we just made cupcakes(:

Now to my point. I know I said I really liked Nico, but that was almost only because of that one night. And yes, then he was dating Kate so I was surprised. I have no idea is they still are... but ANYWAYS...




My point is, I like Joe more now. I don't even think I like Nico. My life is complicated....

But of course, why do I like Joe more? Because he's been texting me a LOT lately. Every morning when he wakes up! And sometimes if I don't text him back he'll say "U there" and I'll just be like "yeah. still here.." but sometimes it's very awkward. :/


But yeah, I like Joe nowww(:









--------Ashley<3333 (: